Cinco de WASTED: ... and no-one else

I’m leaning on the wall next to the drink table. The lean is facilitated by the fact that the apartment is now packed with people and the alcohol is slowly stripping away my motor functions. A guy comes up to the drink table and asks for a shot, they use double shot glasses here too. He asks the barkeep to do a shot with him, he politely refuses saying that he drank too much already (Side note: What is it with tequila that makes drinking it by yourself bad? It seems as if tequila can’t be consumed unless if it is in groups of 2 or more). The surprisingly already drunk patron kept badgering the barkeep. The Barkeep, male, blonde, black tee, and tall, points over to me and says, “Why don’t you take a shot with him?”

The barkeep offers me a shot and I take it and, after the prerequisite count down, me and the other guy down our shots and laugh. Not just a chuckle or a hearty guffaw, but a laugh that usually accompanies pointing and laughing at your friend who just spilled soda on them in the middle of the dining hall, or who just crashed their bike into the curb and now is bleeding internally, you know that kind of laugh. I introduce myself to the guy and he shakes my hand accordingly. He was in a couple main stage theater productions I saw this year, very pale, very gay.

I fade back into the obscurity of the wall and I watch as these people enjoy themselves. My alcohol impaired view of the room caused it to swell and swirl in a blur of people and laughter and dancing. I feel tired, and alienated from the group around me.

Options fly through my head of what I could do. I could stay here, make friends, or attempt to make friends, until my other friends get back. I could leave, go to the other party, or I could milk as much alcohol out of these parties as possible then leave at the right moment. I chose that option.

More people come in. As I try to compose myself I notice one of them. She comes up to the bar and asks what they have. I’m trying to come up with an introduction, something along the lines of, “aren’t you in my media ethics class?” my use of the classic “are you in my ____ class/lab?” never fails to amaze. However the night has taken its toll on me and I seize up. She glances back and says hi.

“You’re in my Ethics class aren’t you?” she beat me to the punch. I admit defeat and go with the flow, “Yeah, I am.”

“What presentation did you do?”

“I did the ‘Out of control: Portrayal of college students in the media’ presentation”

“Oh! I liked that presentation a lot,” that's probably a lie, “Those slides were awesome,” now that wasn’t a lie, or at least I tell myself that to boost my ego. We continued our discussion about the class, the teacher, and those in it and I feel the need to go back over to Gayler’s. I say goodbye and that I’ll see her in class Monday (that Monday we sat next to each other and exchanged awkward greetings, midway through class she asked to borrow a pencil, at the end of class she returned the pencil, and I never talked to her again).

I walked into Gayler’s kitchen and I see Ryan and Casin passing a bottle of tequila between them. They are both swaying in the drunken breeze. They notice me and yell out a drunken, “HEY!wassupman.” Casin offers me tequila, I protest, “Isn’t that Gayler’s?”

“Nah man, we brought it,” pause to burp, “with us. You want some?” I take the bottle, even though I know it really is Gayler’s. I take a long and hearty swig, and pass it back to Casin. I’m leaning back onto the kitchen counter and we’re discussing how come we never talked to each other this year, despite being only 4 doors away from each other, let alone being in the same corner of the building. We laughed, because it’s hard not to laugh at an awkward situation.

I’m out on the balcony holding a beer from Gayler’s and breathing in the crisp air; a welcome change from the stifling atmosphere inside. I head back inside to use the bathroom.

Zipping up I take a look at myself in the mirror. I look like I just came back from the gym, red in the face, flustered, sweaty, and disoriented. I splash water over my face and It calms my nerves. I grip the sides of the sink and hang my head, trying to catch my breath. I look back up and ask myself, “You ready?”

Back in the party I run into Eddie. “Yo, whoa, when did you get back here?” He describes his situation and tells me that Joanna is back too. I head out onto the porch and see her on the futon and I collapse next to her. Gayler is out on the porch with his guitar.

It switched. Gayler is sitting low on the futon with his arms up above him and Joanna is talking to him, giggling like a horny school girl. She’s hungry, like a fat girl wants a cupcake, except that she’s willing to settle for half a cupcake.

I’m heading to the other party. Going down the stairs I feel nothing. No movement no shock from the steps, I am senseless.

I stagger down the steps in front of his building. The group of people behind me are laughing, with me for a second then quickly at me. I run into a group, a familiar silhouette. Two shaggy haired pretty boys, a stout tank, a shaggy bearded figure, and a tall guy. It’s them. “Hey! Where are you going?! Is the party still good?! Dude you look wrecked!” I respond with a mumble and a shout and keep on walking.

I charge down the sidewalk like a rhino through a crystal store. I look at my feet, moving as if propelled by some odd force taking me to my destination.

I look up and I’m passing by two girls and a kid with a sombrero not wearing a shirt. I see the 7-11 in the distance, it's a blur of orange green and white. I stagger a bit, could be the alcohol, probably a mix of that and the uneven bricks.