100 Reasons I Hate You. Reasons 1 and 2.
You want to get on my bad side? Follow these simple instructions and you will be on the list.
(This is an ongoing project, it’ll end whenever I reach 100 or run out of ideas)
1.You talk excessively during movies:
Have you heard of the phrase, “Shut up bitch, I’m watching a movie.” You haven’t? Well you probably haven’t watched a movie with me then. I like to watch movies and enjoy them, how they were meant to be enjoyed. As with porn they are meant to be enjoyed naked, Movies are meant to be enjoyed as they are, without the extra soundtrack of you asking me what is going on when you haven’t been paying attention during the whole film. Even more so annoying, is you talking during a film I paid to see in the theater. If I paid to see this movie I want to watch the movie, not listen to you talk, If I paid to listen to you talk, you would matter, and guess what, you don't.
2. You overreact
Every piece of news and information has a set level of the intensity of a response. If I heard that the earth was going to explode in 90 minutes I would respond justly by soiling myself. If I heard that you finally learned how to whistle I may give you a snap or two. If I suggest we go bowling and you respond by squealing and clapping your hands together and say, “Oh My God, YES! LETS GO BOWLING!” I will hate you; bowling isn't that exciting. If you give a level 10 response to something that only requires a level 2 response at best its annoying, and it will make me not want to talk to you. Even more annoying is overreacting while on vacation.
scene: On the subway in New York
You: We’re on a Subway train! Oh My God, Its just like the movies. Take My Picture, Take My Picture!
You outstretch your hand to hand me your camera
I take your camera and throw it at your face
Me: Oh My God You’re Bleeding Internally on a subway train in New York, Just like in the movies! Here Take a picture!
I pose over you while you writhe in pain on the floor.
End scene.
4 comments:
I do both :) no matter how many times you yell at me...
"Jeanine, just watch the fucking movie!"
"But I don't get it." / "Why can't you just tell me?" / "But I'm all fidgety now..."
good times, good times :)
i'm with you on the movies, but i think i've overreacted in your presense. my bad, yo. but am i to believe that reason # 3 is "you are halle berry?" because i know i hate halle berry, but i cant hate everyone who is halle berry. hypothetically speaking, were i to meet the doppleganger of said halle berry, i'd likely enjoy her company, since she'd be equally opposite of celebrity halle berry. am i spelling halle berry right? i just can't understand why you'd hate someone just for being halle berry. i can only assume that said halle berry is a bitch, so i may hate her for being a bitch, but not for being halle berry. i think if any other halle berry approached me i would have no basis to determine her level of bitchiness, and thus no grounds to dislike her in any fashion, provided she bear no evidence of being a bitch of equal or greater value to said halle berry. however, a thought occurs, i have not yet met halle berry, and thus have no basis to believe she is, in fact, a bitch, a hoe, or any form or derivitive thereof. thinking back... it's just a fucking picture!
Haha, I've overreacted in front of you before. Probably when I, but I'm almost certain I have.
But then again, deep down, I'm actually a little eight-year-old girl.
I can't help but think of when we went to NYC and everyone tried to take pictures on the subway and ended up falling on the floor when it stopped. 'twas very funny to watch.
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